"Oil to the Head"

Rebuke . [ri-byook]

Here is the world's definition straight from Merriam-Websters: to criticize sharply; to reprimand.

The Biblical definition is so different, so richer, so much more beautiful. But we'll get to that later.

I have recently been reminded of the necessity of rebuke in the life of a believer in the context of a healthy community. Because salvation (justification) does not equal perfection, we need brothers and sisters who are willing to point out our weaknesses. The reality is that there are blind spots in our lives where we do not see our sin and many times God uses those in our community for our refinement (sanctification).

Why then do we so often shy away from rebuke? Several reasons come to mind.
1. "I've got a whole heap of issues in my life; I'd be a hypocrite to point out someone else's mess." If "for all have sinned" is coupled with "there is no condemnation in Christ," then we recognize that we all have sin in our lives and we do not come to a brother or sister thinking we have it all together, condemning them for their sin. Instead we come humbly as a fellow sinner offering hope in the gospel and desiring refinement.

2. "It's not my place to correct someone else." If you are a Christian and you are in community with other Christians, it's your place. Period. If you are in a position of authority (parent, boss, pastor, etc.), it is your responsibility to shape the character of those under your authority through rebuke. But don't let that be an excuse if you are not in authority over someone. If you are in Christian fellowship with someone and you see that they are in sin, you should offer rebuke.

3. "Someone else will do it." Everyone else is probably thinking that too, so if God has placed a person on your mind and heart, I would say that's a flashing neon light stating, "(Insert your name here) is the person to offer rebuke."

4. "Confrontation is really not my thing." That's a cop-out. Plain and simple. Biblical rebuke should be the regular habit of every believer.

An unwillingness to offer (or accept) rebuke unveils one or more of the following issues:
1. A lack of understanding of the role of other believers in the sanctification process.
2. Selfishness. You are choosing your own ease and comfort over your brother or sister's sanctification.
3. Cowardice. You don't have the courage to confront another person and address the issue head on.
4. A lack of care for the person you see in sin. If you understand that sin leads to destruction and death (James 1:15), then to not point out sin is to not care about that person and to watch them walk towards destruction without uttering a peep.

Here's what the Bible has to say about rebuke:
- As a father disciplines the son in which he delights, so the LORD rebukes us. Proverbs 3:11,12
- Rebuke from a righteous man is an act of kindness, of "oil to the head." Psalm 141:5
- To not rebuke a person in error is to share in their guilt. Leviticus 19:17
- If you are wise, you will love the person more because they confronted you. Proverbs 9:8b
- Rebuke is life giving. Proverbs 15:31
- Rebuke is a tool to gain knowledge. Proverbs 19:25b
- Jesus commands us to rebuke a brother in sin. Luke 17:3
- Rebuke should lead to repentance. Revelation 3:19

Here is where we see the stark contrast from ole' Mirriam-Webster's definition. MW connotes the idea of rebuke as stern, cold scolding that is critical and divisive. Au contraire MW! Rebuke is likened to "oil to the head." Oil was a sign of healing and life in the Old Testament. To rebuke a brother or sister is to confront him or her with an attitude or behavior that is making them "sick." By offering rebuke, you are raising the knowledge of the sin, giving them the opportunity to repent, and sparing them from the inevitable destruction of that particular sin. You are leading that person towards LIFE.

So here are some suggestions. Rebuke should be consistent, humble, and gentle. We should be equally as willing to receive rebuke as we should to offer rebuke. In other words it should go both ways. Rebuke should feel more like "oil on the head" than a "reed on the back." It will if it's done out of love at the first sign of sin. The problem comes when we overlook sin and allow it to become a habit in the life of a fellow christian. Woe to the christian who has to answer the question, "Why didn't you point out that sin in my life? You could have spared me from great pain and hurt." Woe to that christian because scripture says that you share in the guilt by failing to rebuke. But when rebuke becomes a regular pattern of our interaction with our brothers or sisters, it doesn't build up tension and feel like an explosion. Instead it feels like soothing, healing, life-giving words of love.