Christmas and the King's Kitchen

Christmas 2011 was very different for Ron and me.  I have a very small family.  My only brother and sister-in-law, James and Catharine, were with her family for Christmas, so that left me, Ron, and my mom.  Mom decided that since we had room at the table, we should invite some families from the Salvation Army Family Shelter who had no where else to go.  (I know, she is a lot like Jesus)  So here's a run down of how our Christmas panned out.

My mom, Ron, and I woke up early to share breakfast and open up gifts together.  We got ready and headed to the Salvation Army to pick up the families that were paired with our family.  Talk about a humbling experience, walking into a facility filled with people who have no where else to go on Christmas day when they had a free pass to leave and go wherever they wanted.  We were supposed to connect with three families; one of those families had been discharged so we connected with the two other families.  Our first guest a middle class woman who was left homeless when her husband left her and her son.  As a result she was not able to pay her mortgage and keep up with family expenses.  She ended up at the Salvation Army.  Our second guest left homeless after the parent's with whom she lived and for whom she cared passed away.  As a result her and her son ended up at the Salvation Army.  After exchanging introductory pleasantries, we headed to church.

Mom had told me that she went to a homeless church on Sunday mornings.  While I thought the concept was intriguing, I really had no frame of reference until I entered "Restoration Place Church."  Unlike most churches, this congregation meets in a restaurant, "The Kings Kitchen."  The Kings Kitchen is owned by Jim Noble of Nobles Restaurant in Winston-Salem and Charlotte (among other hugely successful restaurants).  Jim Noble, a Christian chef and restaurant owner, started a non-profit restaurant with the following vision and mission:

Vision:

“The King’s Kitchen” is a ministry operating as a not for profit restaurant to raise funds to feed the poor and to train and equip those previously unemployable in the restaurant trade.

Mission:

“The King’s Kitchen” will operate as a public restaurant, serving local, healthy, Southern cuisine and the profits and proceeds from “The King’s Kitchen” will go toward feeding the poor. In addition, The King’s Kitchen will also operate “The King’s Kitchen Restoration Program” as a four part training program to employ, train and minister the gospel of Jesus Christ to homeless, the poor, troubled youth, rehab graduates and other members of our community who are in need of employment. The King’s Kitchen will operate in the spirit of excellence by training and equipping the whole man (spirit, soul and body) thereby sending out developed leaders into our community. This will be done by working together with other local ministries, businesses, non-profits and people of faith.

Yes, I know.  Unbelievably beautiful.  And hugely captivating for this community development girl.

We walked into the restaurant-turned-church and were greeted by about two dozen of Charlotte's homeless community - many of whom had their life's belongings close to their side.  Regardless of their lot in life their hearts were full and their voices loud as they praised the Christ of Christmas that Sunday morning.  We found some seats and joined in the chorus.  And who do you think the pastor is of this beautiful congregation?  None other than Jim Noble himself.  Unfortunately his wife was sick, which meant the associate pastor opened God's Word and encouraged the congregation from the book of John.  After the message, we entered into a time of prayer and testimony.  The "have-nots" have a knack for knowing their need and recognizing God's provision; us "have it alls" are not quite as knowledgeable.  We have deep needs too and an equally gracious Provider; we just like to cover our needs and claim our own ability to provide.  Hmmm.  Regardless, I was moved by the humility of many who came forward for prayer and touched by the testimony of those who shared of God's power in their life, namely in salvation. 

Each Sunday after church, "The Kings Kitchen" provides boxed lunches of their own cuisine for those in the congregation who could use a meal.  That's the vast majority of folks.  Because it was Christmas, the pastor announced that everyone would not only receive a meal, but that they were encouraged to eat at the restaurant together enjoying added fellowship.  Another thing about "have it alls" is that we don't like to be on the receiving end.  When the pastor invited us to eat with the group, my initial thought was, I'm absolutely not eating food that could be served to those who don't have food to eat."  But as I thought about it, receiving the meal and being served by the congregation was a way to level to field and unite us as one.  So I received the delicious meal of beaf brisque, green beans, corn, and corn bread.  We pulled some tables together and sharing a wonderful time of fellowship.  I sat next to a handsome, middle aged man named Lee.  As we began to talk, Lee shared that he used to work the ports of Charleston loading and unloading cargo ships.  He moved to Charlotte to follow his fiance who soon became his wife.  After several years of marriage, his wife left him leaving him severely depressed.  His depression led to his homelessness.  He mentioned that he had tried to call his family earlier in the day to wish them a merry Chirstmas, but was unable to reach them.  I realized I had my phone, so I offered him the phone to call his family.  He called his mom and when she didn't answer, he left a message that began, "Merry Christmas Mom.  This is Lee.  I'm still alive..."  Wow!  Another humbling moment.

As we finished our meal and got ready to leave, Mom invited one of her friends from the church, Angel, to come to our home for Christmas dinner.  He agreed to come with us and our other guests and so we headed back to the house for the rest of the day.  But that's another post...

...until then pray for the Nobles and the ministry of "The Kings Kitchen."  And if you live in the Triad area, support Nobles Restaurant.

The Coming of a Rescuer (As told by the Jesus Story Book Bible)

God's message spoken through the prophet Isaiah regarding His Son (as told by The Jesus Storybook Bible):

“My people have wandered away from me, like sheep in an open field.  You have been running away from me.  And now you’re lost.  You can’t find your way back.  But I can’t stop loving you.  I will come to find you.  So I am to you a Shepherd to look after you and love you.  To carry you home to me. 

You’ve been stumbling around in darkness.  But into your darkness a bright light will shine.  It will chase away all the shadows like sunshine.  A little baby will be born.  A royal son.  His mommy will be a young girl who doesn’t have a husband, because God himself is His Father.  This baby will be Emmanuel, which means “God has come to live with us.”  Yes!  Someone is coming to rescue you!

He will be a King, but he won’t live in a palace.  And he won’t have lots of money.  He will be poor.  And he will be a servant.  But this King will heal the whole world.  He will be a Hero!  He will fight for his people and rescue them from their enemies.  But he won’t have big armies, and he won’t fight with swords.  He will make the blind see, he will make the lame leap.  He will make everything the way it was always meant to be when he first created everything.

But people will hate him, and they won’t listen to him.  He will be like a lamb – he will suffer and die.  But this is my secret rescue plan I had made from the beginning of the world.  It’s the only way to get you back.  My son won’t stay dead – I will make him alive again.  And one day when he comes back to rule forever, the mountains and trees will dance and sing for joy!  The earth will shout for joy.  His fame will fill the whole earth – just like the waters cover the sea.  Everything broken will be healed.  Yes, the rescuer will come.  Look for him.  Watch for him.  Wait for Him.  He will come!

And at just the right time, true to His word, God sent His Son, the Rescuer. This is the One we celebrate this Christmas season.

Galatians 4:4 - 5 "And at just the right time, God sent His Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.  God sent him to buy freedom for us who were far off, so that he could adopt us as his very own children."

 
Merry Christmas 2011!!!

Helpful Resources for Mercy Ministry

For anyone interested in helpful resources in the world of mercy ministry, here are some books and organizations that have been useful in shaping my theology and practice.

A Christian Perspective:

Ministries of Mercy: The Call to the Jericho Road by Tim Keller

Generous Justice: How God's Grace Makes Us Just by Tim Keller

When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor or Yourself by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert

To Live In Peace: Biblical Faith and the Changing Inner City by Mark Gornik

Beyond Charity: The Call to Christian Community Development by John Perkins

A Theology As Big As The City by Ray Bakke

Additional Resources:

A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne

Whatever It Takes: Geoffrey Canada's Quest to Change Harlem and America by Paul Tough

Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

Community and Economic Development Organizations:

Christian Community Development Association - www.ccda.org

The Chalmers Institute for Economic Development - www.chalmers.org

Broken

Broken.  This world is broken.

In God there is wholeness.  In sin there is brokenness.  There are some weeks that the reality of the broken world weighs on me like a ton of bricks.  This past week I felt that weight to a degree that I haven’t felt in some time. 

Broken.  This week brought an end to a very difficult and emotionally draining situation at work.  I won’t go into detail; just trust me that the 3 month long issue has been very taxing to witness.  Yes, even in the church, relationships can be broken.

Broken.  On Thursday in the midst of simultaneously running to a meeting and trying to feed 80 people at one of our tutoring programs, my car broke.  Something about the engine overheating, the pistons melting, no compression.   No warning signs – at least none that I picked up on.  It was a shock to go from having a car to not having a car unexpectedly.  I’ll tell you what else shocked me: the price it is going to cost to get it fixed.  My car is broken.

Broken.  Ron has been sick for several weeks (literally), but last week seemed to be the worst.   Perhaps the only reality harder than watching your spouse physically suffer is watching your child.  Since Ron and I do not have children, his suffering has been about as hard as it gets to watch, especially when I feel helpless to provide relief.  His body is not working as it should; it is broken.

Because of the second and third situation, I did not go to Boone on Saturday to spend the day with my brother and sister in law for Appalachian’s homecoming game against my alma mater, Samford.  My heart was broken.

While all the brokenness above has been very hard, perhaps the most difficult part of my week was the thread of steady reminders of our broken society.

Tuesday while tutoring a fifth grader, I happened upon a paragraph he had written.  He was embarrassed for me to read it; that was written all over his face.  He knew it was a mess: misspelled words that were on the kindergarten sight word list and grammar that was horrendous.  How could he get to fifth grade and not know how to spell kindergarten words?  How could he not know how to write a basic sentence?  Our education system is broken.  Add a brick.

Thursday I had lunch with one of the mothers from our tutoring program, and she was telling me about a situation she is going through involving her boyfriend.  Again, I won’t go into details, but I was acutely aware that God’s intention for marriage and family is broken.  I see that all across our city.  Mothers trying to raise their children with no father.  Fathers who have idolized their career so much that they are all but absent.  Parents who have divorced.  The family is broken.  One more brick.

Saturday I was at Barnes and Nobles, because our internet was broken (how very fitting).  As I was leaving I was approached by a couple asking of money.  When I asked about their need, they said they were homeless and were hoping to buy a night at the Express Inn.  I asked them how much they had and what they still needed.  They needed $15.  I gave it them in Jesus name.  Perhaps I should have gone with them to the Express Inn and paid in person, but honestly I didn’t have it in me.  I gave them the money and prayed that the act of compassion would somehow be used by God to not only provide for a physical need but draw them to God.  As I drove away and wrestled with my cynical heart, “I thought no one grows up aspiring to be a beggar.”  The fabric of our society is broken.  Yet another brick.

The brokenness is evident all around us.  Do you feel the weight of it?

What is our response?  It’s easy to play the blame game.  It’s the poor person’s fault.  It’s the government’s fault.  It’s the fault of unjust systems.  I’ve found that most people who respond through blame are the least likely to proactively respond to brokenness. 

Poverty and oppression are ultimately a theological issue.  In God there is wholeness; in sin there is brokenness.  The humbling reality is that we are all poor beggars broken because of sin and not functioning as whole people.  Instead of living in harmony with God, ourselves, others, and creation, our relationships in all these areas are fragmented.  This brokenness manifests itself in countless ways, one of which is poverty and oppression.  Since poverty and oppression are theological issues, it needs a theological response.  Thanks be to God that he has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.  God’s reconciled people should be the ones who are at the forefront of addressing issues of brokenness and pointing people to the Great Reconciler.  So if you are reconciled to God and a part of the Church, what are you doing to address issues of brokenness, of poverty and oppression?  Let me know if you’d like to talk through some suggestions.

"Oil to the Head"

Rebuke . [ri-byook]

Here is the world's definition straight from Merriam-Websters: to criticize sharply; to reprimand.

The Biblical definition is so different, so richer, so much more beautiful. But we'll get to that later.

I have recently been reminded of the necessity of rebuke in the life of a believer in the context of a healthy community. Because salvation (justification) does not equal perfection, we need brothers and sisters who are willing to point out our weaknesses. The reality is that there are blind spots in our lives where we do not see our sin and many times God uses those in our community for our refinement (sanctification).

Why then do we so often shy away from rebuke? Several reasons come to mind.
1. "I've got a whole heap of issues in my life; I'd be a hypocrite to point out someone else's mess." If "for all have sinned" is coupled with "there is no condemnation in Christ," then we recognize that we all have sin in our lives and we do not come to a brother or sister thinking we have it all together, condemning them for their sin. Instead we come humbly as a fellow sinner offering hope in the gospel and desiring refinement.

2. "It's not my place to correct someone else." If you are a Christian and you are in community with other Christians, it's your place. Period. If you are in a position of authority (parent, boss, pastor, etc.), it is your responsibility to shape the character of those under your authority through rebuke. But don't let that be an excuse if you are not in authority over someone. If you are in Christian fellowship with someone and you see that they are in sin, you should offer rebuke.

3. "Someone else will do it." Everyone else is probably thinking that too, so if God has placed a person on your mind and heart, I would say that's a flashing neon light stating, "(Insert your name here) is the person to offer rebuke."

4. "Confrontation is really not my thing." That's a cop-out. Plain and simple. Biblical rebuke should be the regular habit of every believer.

An unwillingness to offer (or accept) rebuke unveils one or more of the following issues:
1. A lack of understanding of the role of other believers in the sanctification process.
2. Selfishness. You are choosing your own ease and comfort over your brother or sister's sanctification.
3. Cowardice. You don't have the courage to confront another person and address the issue head on.
4. A lack of care for the person you see in sin. If you understand that sin leads to destruction and death (James 1:15), then to not point out sin is to not care about that person and to watch them walk towards destruction without uttering a peep.

Here's what the Bible has to say about rebuke:
- As a father disciplines the son in which he delights, so the LORD rebukes us. Proverbs 3:11,12
- Rebuke from a righteous man is an act of kindness, of "oil to the head." Psalm 141:5
- To not rebuke a person in error is to share in their guilt. Leviticus 19:17
- If you are wise, you will love the person more because they confronted you. Proverbs 9:8b
- Rebuke is life giving. Proverbs 15:31
- Rebuke is a tool to gain knowledge. Proverbs 19:25b
- Jesus commands us to rebuke a brother in sin. Luke 17:3
- Rebuke should lead to repentance. Revelation 3:19

Here is where we see the stark contrast from ole' Mirriam-Webster's definition. MW connotes the idea of rebuke as stern, cold scolding that is critical and divisive. Au contraire MW! Rebuke is likened to "oil to the head." Oil was a sign of healing and life in the Old Testament. To rebuke a brother or sister is to confront him or her with an attitude or behavior that is making them "sick." By offering rebuke, you are raising the knowledge of the sin, giving them the opportunity to repent, and sparing them from the inevitable destruction of that particular sin. You are leading that person towards LIFE.

So here are some suggestions. Rebuke should be consistent, humble, and gentle. We should be equally as willing to receive rebuke as we should to offer rebuke. In other words it should go both ways. Rebuke should feel more like "oil on the head" than a "reed on the back." It will if it's done out of love at the first sign of sin. The problem comes when we overlook sin and allow it to become a habit in the life of a fellow christian. Woe to the christian who has to answer the question, "Why didn't you point out that sin in my life? You could have spared me from great pain and hurt." Woe to that christian because scripture says that you share in the guilt by failing to rebuke. But when rebuke becomes a regular pattern of our interaction with our brothers or sisters, it doesn't build up tension and feel like an explosion. Instead it feels like soothing, healing, life-giving words of love.

Feathers Ruffled!

“Cable TV,AC, and an XBOX: What is Poverty Today?”  This is the name of an article sent to me recently.  As I read the article, I became increasingly troubled by its content and concerned about what would be read between the lines.  The premise of the article is to question the material possessions of the 43.5 million people that the 2010 census deemed to be in poverty in America.  Poverty, according to the author, insinuates destitution and the majority of those in poverty enjoy “amenities” such as air conditioning, a stove, a refrigerator, a microwave, and a washer/dryer.  Many in poverty even enjoy “luxuries” like cable TV, a car (or two), gaming systems, DVD players, and (gasp) a flat screen TV.  It was thought that the homes of many of the American poor are in good repair and are not over-crowded.

The conclusion of the article is that “a family in the US that has a decent, uncrowded house or apartment to live in, ample food to eat, access to medical care, a car, cable TV, AC, and a microwave at home should not be considered poor.”  The author closes the article stating, “grossly exaggerating the extent and severity of material deprivation in America won’t benefit the poor, the economy, or society as a whole.”  I would say to the author, grossly underestimating the extent and severity of material deprivation in America as well as grossly misunderstanding of poverty won’t benefit the poor, the economy, or society as a whole.

Let me be clear that I am not writing this response with political motivation.  My goal is not to represent a democratic or republican stance; I’m actually registered as an independent.  If, however, being liberal in defending the poor makes me look liberal politically, I’ll be a liberal on this issue!

So why were my feathers ruffled by this article?

One reason is that it grossly simplifies poverty as merely a lack of material possessions.  Ruby Payne, in her bestselling book “A Framework for Understanding Poverty,” defines poverty as a lack of resources.  Certainly those resources include one’s finances, but they also include emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and relational resources.  Additionally Payne points to resources such as support systems and a knowledge of hidden rules as resources often absent for those in poverty.  These resources overlap and really cannot be seen independently.  To isolate one resource and say that people are not poor because they have the means to afford material possessions is a misunderstanding of the complexity of poverty. 

Payne goes on to explain the “hidden rules among classes,” which shape expectation and behavior.  When talking about money Payne says,

“One of the biggest difficulties in getting out of poverty is managing money and just the general information base around money.  How can you manage something you’ve never had?  Money is seen in poverty as an expression of personality and is used for entertainment and relationships.  The notion of using money for security is truly grounded in the middle and wealthy classes.” 

Another reason I was troubled by this article is that it breeds implicit stereotypes and assumptions about the poor.  Stereotypes included in the article include a mismanagement of money, an unhealthy lifestyle, among others.  Even where there might be truth, there is no effort to explore underlying reasons.  Perhaps behind mismanagement of money or unhealthy lifestyles are a lack of education and a lack of role models.  Ruby Payne points out that the two most significant factors in a person rising above the poverty line are education and positive relationships.  Where those are lacking, poverty will persist.  Instead of discounting the reality of the poor, it might serve them better to establish relationships and teach impoverished neighbors about finances and health. 

To say that the overwhelming majority of the poor in the United States are well-housed, have one (or two) cars, are able to obtain necessary medical care, and have ample food does not line up with what I have experienced as I lived on the Westside of Chicago and what I see on a daily basis with low income neighbors in Winston-Salem.   Admittedly this is a personal and subjective observation, but my heart has been pierced by neighbors who have empty kitchen cabinets.  I have seen bedrooms with no beds.  I’ve picked up the kids whose parents had no personal mode of transportation.  I’ve received phone calls from neighbors who are desperate for dental care because their teeth are literally falling out.   I could go on.

While I have no political motivation in my response, there is a deep theological motivation.  This world is broken.  Sin has distorted God’s intention for all of creation and created a chasm not only between man and God, but also man and others.  Great disparities exist between the haves and the have nots.  Those in both groups are subject to the fall and the sin bends that come with each socioeconomic group.  There’s nothing inherent about being poor that makes a person view money incorrectly.  Sin affects everyone!  Mis-spending can happen just as easily for a middle class neighbors straining for the American dream as it can the poor (mis)managing their meager amount of money.

I am disheartened by this article and the mentality behind it because it shows an insensitivity and lack of compassion towards the poor or the lower rungs of our society.  For the Christian this should troubling for two reasons.  One, it reveals a lack of grasping the central message of Christianity.  That Christ - who possessed all wealth - became poor so that through His poverty I might become rich (II Cor. 8:9).  I should have a care for the poor because the physical reality of the poor points me to my own spiritual reality.  Two, the language of the Bible insinuates that a mark of true worship and faith is a person’s concern and care for the poor.  Repeatedly God says that true worship and faith inevitably will translate into caring for the poor and oppressed (Isaiah 58, Matthew 25). 

When I am guided by my own theology, I would rather be liberal is caring for the poor than not.  I would rather broadly care for the lower rungs than tightly hold onto resources questioning whether someone is poor or not.  That’s just me.  What do you think?

Marriage is "Dynamic, Not Static"

Holly Hinshelwood, a friend who served with me this summer, let me borrow a book entitled "Let Me Be A Woman" by Elizabeth Elliot which was written to her only daughter as a wedding gift.  It holds great wisdom and has been timely truth as Ron and I navigate the waters of our first year of marriage.  I was reading this morning and the following passage really hit home so I thought I would share it.

"Marriage is a dynamic, not a static relationship.  It gets either better or worse.  As people either grow or deteriorate, relationships between them must grow or deteriorate.  A common explanation offered for marital incompatibility is 'we outgrew each other.' It's been said that if a couple doesn't grow together they grow apart.  But for the couples who have in all seriousness said their vows before God and in the presence of witnesses the possibility of growing apart need not be allowed.  It need never be something which 'happens to' them, as though they were bystanders injured by some force which they were powerless to protect themselves from.  They have willed to love and live together.  They stand, not helpless, but in relation to God, each responsible to fulfill the vows to the other.  Each determines to do the will of God so that together they move toward the 'measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ."  And, if God is viewed as the apex of a triangle of which they are the two base points, movement towards Him necessarily decreases the distance between them.  Drawing near to God means drawing near to each other, and this means growth and change.  They are being changed into the same image of glory to glory.  There is no such thing as stagnation or that relatively innocent-sounding word 'incompatibility.'
There are tensions.  The strength of the great cathedral lies in the thrust and counterthrust of its buttresses and arches.  Each has its own function and each its peculiar strength.  This is the way I see the dynamics of a good marriage.  It is not strength pitted against weakness.  It is two kinds of strength, each meant to fortify the other in special ways.  It is not weakness for the boat to submit itself to the rules of sailing.  That submission is  her strength.  It is the rules that enable the boat to utilize her full strength, to harness the wind and thus take to herself the wind's strength.  It was not weakness in the Son of God that made him obey the will of the Father.  It was power - the power of His own will to will the Father's will."